In the ever-entertaining world of male entitlement, we introduce you to a truly remarkable specimen: the Average Male Client. This modern-day Casanova, blessed with the self-awareness of a goldfish, believes he deserves a hefty discount when hiring an escort. Why, you ask? Because he's just that special. Buckle up for a wild ride through the mind of a man convinced his mere existence is payment enough.
“I Should Get a Discount Because I’m Very Attractive”
Meet our protagonist, the Average Male Client. With a confidence that could power a small country, he strides into the world of professional companionship, utterly convinced that his chiseled good looks should automatically slash prices. After all, any woman would be thrilled to be with him, right?
"Any woman would be happy to be with me," he announces, with a level of self-assurance typically reserved for superheroes and lottery winners. Never mind that the escort he’s eyeing is a solid ten while he hovers generously around a four on a very good day—he’s convinced she should be paying him for the privilege of his company.
“What If I Take You to McDonald’s?”
But wait, there's more! Our charming gentleman isn’t just about superficial looks. No, he’s ready to sweeten the deal with a romantic gesture straight out of a fairy tale. "What if I take you to get McDonald’s after I give you the best sex of your life?" he proposes, mistaking fast food for fine dining and his bedroom prowess for something worth its weight in gold.
Surely, a Big Mac and fries are equivalent to cash, right? In his mind, this offer is a win-win, a testament to his generosity and culinary sophistication. Because nothing says "I value your time and services" quite like a Happy Meal.
“We Can’t Call It Even?”
As negotiations continue, our hero’s bewilderment grows. "You really want me to pay?" he asks, genuinely puzzled. Isn’t his company payment enough? He’s already sacrificing his valuable time and unmatched attractiveness; surely, financial compensation is a bit much to ask for.
“How Often Has an Attractive, Rich, and Successful Man Like Me Shown You Any Attention?”
Finally, he plays his trump card. "How often has an attractive, rich, and successful man like me shown you any attention?" he inquires, confident that his rare blend of imaginary wealth, dubious success, and questionable charm is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
In his world, escorts should be grateful, nay, honored to be graced by his presence. The mere fact that he has chosen to spend time with them should suffice. Money? That’s for mere mortals who don’t possess his genetic gifts and staggering self-importance.
Conclusion: The Entitlement Continues
And so, the Average Male Client marches on, blissfully unaware of the absurdity of his demands. His quest for discounted companionship is a testament to the enduring power of delusion and the human capacity for self-deception.
In the grand theatre of life, he plays the role of the oblivious suitor, ever convinced that his attractiveness is a currency more valuable than gold. And as long as there are McDonald’s coupons to be had and mirrors to admire himself in, his journey will continue.
To the escorts who encounter this rare breed, we salute you. Your patience and professionalism in the face of such unbridled entitlement are truly commendable. And to the Average Male Client, we wish you the best of luck—because you’re going to need it.
