In a triumph of legislative genius, Rep. Ann Wagner and Sen. Rob Portman proudly proclaim that their brainchild, FOSTA/SESTA, has miraculously eradicated sex trafficking. With a hearty high five and a self-satisfied grin, they bask in the glory of having saved countless lives. After all, who needs facts when you have feel-good legislation?
A Monumental Achievement in Illusion
FOSTA/SESTA, touted as the savior of the vulnerable, is hailed as a masterpiece of modern governance. "We’ve decreased sex trafficking!" Rep. Wagner declares, oblivious to the inconvenient truth that these bills have merely pushed trafficking further underground. Because nothing screams "success" like making it harder for police to find and rescue victims.
Saving Lives by Removing Visibility
It’s not like law enforcement agencies were using ads on various platforms to identify and rescue trafficking victims. No, clearly, removing these platforms is the key to reducing trafficking. Out of sight, out of mind! If you can’t see the problem, it must not exist, right?
Sen. Portman beams with pride. "We’ve saved so many people!" he insists. "Just ignore the growing chorus of voices pointing out that providers are now more endangered than ever. We’ve made the world safer by making it more dangerous. Genius, right?"
The Glorious Misconception of Safety
The logic is flawless. By eliminating safe, visible platforms, FOSTA/SESTA has brilliantly ensured that sex workers must operate in the shadows, away from the prying eyes of law enforcement. Because obviously, when no one can find you, you’re perfectly safe. It’s like a twisted game of hide-and-seek where the seekers have their eyes closed and the hiders are left in peril.
"High five, Ann!" Rob exclaims. "We’ve really outdone ourselves this time. We’ve made sure that sex workers can no longer rely on online communities for support and safety. Instead, they get to navigate the dangerous streets in search of clients. What could possibly go wrong?
Trafficking at an All-Time Low! (In Our Imaginations)
"And to those who dare to criticize these bills," Wagner continues, "what do you mean people hate them and think they’re causing more harm than good? We’ve saved the children, just like we saved them by putting them in cages for crossing the border. Our track record is impeccable!"
Celebrating a Legacy of Unintended Consequences
The true brilliance of FOSTA/SESTA lies in its ability to create more problems while pretending to solve them. It’s legislative theater at its finest. By forcing sex work further underground, the bills have ensured that trafficking victims are harder to find, sex workers are more vulnerable, and everyone gets to feel good about doing absolutely nothing to address the real issues.
Conclusion: The Masterstroke of Misguided Policy
So, here’s to Rep. Ann Wagner and Sen. Rob Portman, the masterminds behind FOSTA/SESTA. Their misguided policies have set a new standard for legislative ineptitude. They’ve managed to pat themselves on the back while ignoring the wreckage they’ve left in their wake.
In the grand tradition of political self-congratulation, they’ve declared victory where there is none. And as sex workers navigate their newfound peril, these champions of safety can rest easy, knowing they’ve made the world a far more dangerous place. Bravo!
