So, here’s the Nordic Model in a nutshell: “We’re not going to punish you, the sex worker—oh no, we’re enlightened! We’re just going to punish the people paying you so you can’t make a living. See? Progress!” Genius, right? It’s like saying, “We didn’t outlaw restaurants, we just made it illegal to order food. Enjoy the empowerment.”
The big idea here is that if you make it impossible for people to pay for sex, sex workers will just… poof! disappear into a magical world where they don’t need rent money or groceries. It’s flawless logic—if you’ve never spoken to an actual sex worker or, you know, been alive.
And of course, this plan was cooked up by the real experts on sex work: politicians, college professors, and a handful of pearl-clutching activists who think all sex workers are just damsels waiting to be rescued. These are the same people who mix up consensual sex work and trafficking like they’re reading off a menu: “Hmm, let’s go with the ‘all sex is exploitation’ special and a side of ‘ban everything.’”
And the cherry on top? They’ll tell you it’s all about “protecting women.” Yeah, because nothing screams “protection” like scaring off decent clients and leaving sex workers to deal with the desperate creeps who don’t care about getting caught. Brilliant. Now we’re not just working—we’re auditioning for the next episode of Law & Order: SVU.
But hey, they’re not criminalizing sex workers, right? No, no, they’d never do that. Instead, they just criminalize every single thing around the work until it’s so dangerous and exhausting you have no choice but to quit or die trying. It’s like saying, “We’re not banning music, we’re just banning instruments, concerts, and anyone who claps. Enjoy your freedom!”
What’s wild is that everyone pushing this nonsense loves to claim it’s about “fighting for justice!” Oh, sure, because justice is definitely when people who know absolutely nothing about your life decide what’s best for you. It’s always someone in a cardigan, clutching a latte, confidently saying, “This will empower them.” Empower us? Lady, I just want to get paid without someone calling the cops!
And let’s talk about who this really helps politicians who want to look progressive without lifting a finger to actually do something. These are the same people who won’t even give us universal healthcare but suddenly really care about our safety when it means they can slap a trendy “Nordic” sticker on their bad ideas.
Here’s the kicker: if they actually cared about us, they’d push for decriminalization. You know, the thing that makes the work safer, holds everyone accountable, and doesn’t involve throwing sex workers under the bus. But no! That would mean admitting sex work is real work, and apparently, that’s too much truth for people who think a vibrator is contraband.
Instead, they stick with the Nordic Model: half-assed, condescending, and just dangerous enough to ruin lives while letting everyone involved shrug and say, “Well, we tried!” No, you didn’t. You just made things worse and called it progress.
So, here we are stuck with policies written by people who wouldn’t know a sex worker if one handed them a laminated business card. And they’ll keep patting themselves on the back while we’re out here dodging sketchy clients, overzealous cops, and rent deadlines. Thanks for nothing, Karen.
You know what? Just stop. If you’re not going to actually help, at least have the decency to leave us alone. And maybe take your Nordic Model and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine—preferably somewhere past the Arctic Circle.
